November 2006 Archive

Click image for gallery

Dirty talk is flirty talk. It fans the flames of desire and gets your deepest wishes across in a way that's fun, not serious.

A lot of couples feel silly about talking dirty. They think it's unnatural or that they have to get really raunchy to do it right. In reality, dirty talk is like any other seduction: doing it with your own flair makes it come off right. Talking dirty to your partner doesn't mean you have to become someone you're not...unless that's exactly what you want to do!

Say what you feel:

"I just love it when you _____"

Say what you want:

"I want you to ____ my ____"

Say what s/he does to you:

"I'm so hot that I've started ____"

"Right now I'm going to stroke/suck/kiss your ____"

Don't limit dirty talk to in-person moments. You can warm yourself up by talking dirty over the telephone or via email. No matter how you do it, talking dirty is especially good for your sex life. You amp up your arousal by talking about the taboo and you learn more about what turns you on. Get talking!

For access to the full video and to see other preview videos, please visit SHEMUSCLE.COM

Click image for preview video

Click image for gallery

It seems that the nipple piercing continues to thrive - teens and adult females deciding that they look more attractive with their nipples pierced. In some cases, women are electing do the piercing themselves, which adds to my concern. The greatest risk is infection, especially when the piercing is not done by a medical professional.

Women who have had this experience email me asking me what is wrong with their breast. They describe symptoms redness, swelling, their breast feeling hot to the touch, nipple drainage, even fever in some cases.

Some fear that these symptoms - the result of their recent nipple piercing - mean they have breast cancer. These are classic signs of infection that can be quite serious in some cases, producing a full-blown case of mastitis. Some may even require hospitalization and intravenous antibiotics.

Does piercing the nipple cause breast cancer? That's another common question asked of me online. There are no studies telling us that it does but there aren't studies that confirm it does not. It certainly causes trauma to the breast that can result in long-term problems associated with ductal disorders and possibly even breast feeding because a large gauge instrument has disrupted the normal pathway of milk flowing from the duct to the nipple-areola area.

So talk to your daughter (and think long and hard about this yourself) before you learn that it's too late to have the talk. You are not going to look more attractive because you have a ring or bar through your nipple. If you suffer complications like infection or ductal disease that lasts a lifetime, you may end up realizing it was the worst mistake of your life.

Click image for gallery

If you're Thanksgiving plate resembled a family-style buffet doused in lard laden gravy, worry not. This 72-hr detox plan is the perfect recipe to combat the Thanksgiving weight-gain disaster. Garnish with 8-10 cups of water and a daily multivitamin and dive in. Your stuffing will skedaddle and you'll be back in your skinny jeans in no time!

Day One

BREAKFAST
Vegetable Omelet with Toast: One omelet made with one whole egg and two egg whites, and stuffed with vegetables (try spinach, onions, tomato, mushrooms or zucchini sautéed in 1 teaspoon olive oil). Cook omelet in a nonstick pan or coat a regular pan with cooking spray. Serve with one slice of high-fiber bread (any brand that has 2 grams fiber and no more than 90 calories per slice). Optional coffee or tea (plain or with skim milk, no sugar)
LUNCH
Soup and Salad: One bowl of minestrone, black bean, or lentil soup (approximately 2 cups or 300 calories of any prepared brand with nutritional information, such as Healthy Choice, Amy's Organic, Campbell's Healthy Request). Eat with a mini whole-wheat pita (any brand, 70 calories), and a green salad tossed with one tablespoon of low-fat dressing (or 1 tablespoon balsamic vinegar and a small dash of olive oil).
SNACK
Afternoon Snack: One skim milk cappuccino or latte (optional teaspoon sugar or Splenda) or 8 ounces nonfat, flavored yogurt (any brand 120 calories or less).
DINNER
Sweet Wild Salmon: Mix together 1 tablespoon low-sodium soy sauce and 1 tablespoon honey. Drizzle over a 6-ounce wild salmon fillet and broil for 10-15 minutes, basting every few minutes. Serve over a large mound of arugula leaves, with 1 cup steamed broccoli.

Day Two

BREAKFAST
Cereal with Fruit: 150 calories of any high fiber (five grams or more) cereal (i.e., Kashi Go Lean, Nature's Path Flax Plus, Barbara's Grain Shop, All Bran, Fiber One). Serve with 1 cup skim milk or low-fat soymilk, and ½ sliced banana or ½ cup berries. Optional coffee or tea (plain or with skim milk, no sugar)
LUNCH
Turkey/Cheese Sandwich: Toast two pieces of reduced-calorie whole-wheat bread (no more than 60 calories per slice). Layer one slice of bread with 1 teaspoon reduced-fat mayonnaise, unlimited spicy mustard, 2 ounces smoked turkey (or lean ham) and one slice of low-fat cheese. Top with a thick slice of tomato, onion and the remaining slice of bread. Handful of baby carrots and unlimited celery.
SNACK
1/4 cup of pistachio nuts in the shell + 1 cup of green tea
DINNER
Steak & Veggies: Green tossed salad with 2 tablespoons low-cal dressing. One 6-ounce fillet mignon or sirloin (trimmed of fat, with optional 2 tablespoons ketchup or steak sauce) served with 1 cup steamed vegetables.

Day Three

BREAKFAST
Cottage Cheese with Grapefruit: ½ grapefruit with 1 cup nonfat or 1% reduced fat cottage cheese (or 1 cup non-fat, flavored yogurt) topped with 2 tablespoons wheat germ.
LUNCH
Bauer's Power Salad: Unlimited lettuce and raw vegetables (tomatoes, carrots, cucumbers, peppers, mushrooms, etc.) mixed with 2-3 tablespoons of low-fat dressing (or unlimited balsamic vinegar and 1 teaspoon olive oil) and topped with one of the following: 4 ounces grilled wild salmon; 6 ounces grilled chicken breast, turkey breast, tofu, or ham; Plus, the option to add a 1/2 cup of either chick peas, black beans or low-fat cheese.
SNACK
One apple + one Laughing Cow Light cheese triangle.
DINNER
Chinese Take Out: Order steamed seafood, tofu or chicken and vegetable entrée (such as steamed chicken and broccoli). Request garlic or ginger sauce on the side, and order a small container of steamed brown rice.
Pile your plate with the steamed entrée and flavor it with 1 Tablespoon of the sauce and unlimited low-sodium soy sauce. Eat it with ½ cup brown rice.

Click image for gallery

Constant, persisting sexual arousal...what comes to mind?
A dream come true? Memories of your first love?
For a certain population of women, persistent sexual arousal is no enjoyable-or joking-matter. Persistent Sexual Arousal Syndrome (PSAS) is the unrelenting feeling of genital arousal.

Vaginal congestion, lubrication, tingling and even breast sensitivity occur spontaneously. These physical feelings are intrusive and unwanted. PSAS is not to be confused with hypersexuality, commonly referred to as nymphomania. Hypersexuality is a compulsive desire for sex. Women with PSAS have no excessive desire for sex.

Women who suffer from PSAS (and research is ongoing to determine just how many there are) find that unwanted arousal can overtake their life. They can't work. They can't sleep. Frequent masturbation or other forms of sexual release are needed to keep the feelings at bay. While some might take the arousal as a positive, many women fall into a depression because of feelings of helplessness, shame and confusion. For all of these reasons, a woman may not approach her doctor with the complaint.

Arousal disorders are among the most complicated in women. Subjective feelings of arousal are not clearly connected to the physiological markers of arousal (as in men). So when the body is off to the races and the mind is not, it can be a traumatizing experience. At the other end of the spectrum are women who feel attracted to their partners, but find that their bodies don't respond.

The causes of PSAS are still not clear and neither are the solutions. Some women experience PSAS because of abnormal clitoral blood flow, which can be investigated with an ultrasound. Others may develop symptoms as a result of neurological changes after an injury or accident. However, the vast majority of cases have no identifiable cause. Treatments include anti-depressant medications, numbing gels and therapy.

Creating a dialogue about this poorly understood condition is a step in the right direction. The more women who come forward about PSAS, the more chances we have to effectively treat it. We can only hope that research continues to offer answers to all women, no matter where they fall along the arousal spectrum.

Click image for gallery

Since being consumed by New England sailors to fight scurvy, cranberries have been linked to folk and Native American health remedies. Now scientific studies are confirming the health benefits linked to this holiday staple.
One widely known use of cranberries is to prevent urinary tract infections by drinking cranberry juice.

Apparently that's more than just an old wives tale. Experts claim that cranberry juice can decrease bacteria that often result in a urinary tract infection.

Similarly, researchers believe that the same mechanism that blocks bacteria that cause urinary tract infections may also be responsible for blocking those that cause stomach ulcers and gum disease. In fact, cranberries are considered a healthy addition to any diet because they contain virtually no cholesterol or fat and are very low in sodium. These berries are also rich in vitamin C and other disease-fighting antioxidants. Some cranberry products, such as whole grain cereals with cranberries or cranberry granola bars, are also a good source of dietary fiber.

How many cranberries do you have to eat to benefit from these effects? Experts recommend consuming at least 10 ounces of cranberry juice cocktail or 6 ounces of 100 percent juice daily. You can also snack or cook with any of the following products every day:

* 1 ½ cups of fresh or frozen cranberries
* 1 oz sweetened dried cranberries
* ½ cup cranberry sauce

When you add the cranberries to your plate this Thanksgiving, remember all of the wonderful health benefits that little extra sauce can bring your way.

IVY, North Carolina, smokin' Click HERE for Talk Live Information.

Click image for gallery

In my last blog entry I talked about the healing powers of foods. I appreciate your entries and found some very informative. Clearly, I am not the only one who believes that foods can do more than just fill your belly.
I also mentioned that athletes were turning to a certain fruit juice to help speed the recovery from hard workouts and competitions. Specifically I am talking about cherry juice.

For some time, I have been quite aware of the many health benefits of fresh cherries. They are powerful antioxidants and also have strong anti-inflammatory properties. Tart cherries are the most potent, but in most parts of this country they are very seasonal, and tough to get year-round.

Recent research, published in the British Journal of Sports Medicine, showed that tart cherry juice significantly sped up muscle recovery in athletes who had done very hard eccentric weight workouts. Eccentric or negative muscle training and workouts are notorious for causing DOMS (delayed onset muscle soreness).

Interestingly, phytonutrients in cherries have also been shown to be both effective pain relievers, as well as producers of melatonin, which helps regulate and and promote restful sleep.

To achieve optimal antioxidant, anti-inflammatory and recovery results, it is suggested that you would need the nutrients of approximately 75 cherries. This was recently made easy by CherryPharm, which created a bottled drink made from the juice (not concentrate) of tart cherries. I must say that it is quite tasty! The basic science research of cherry power can be reviewed on their site. The New York Rangers ice hockey team drinks it regularly, and I have introduced it into the locker room of the Philadelphia 76ers basketball team.

Maybe it is time to start adding cherries, or a high-quality cherry drink, to your daily routines. I would recommend it post-workouts to help with recovery, and also in the evening to help promote a better quality sleep.

Click image for gallery

I've resisted writing about Ted Haggard's tawdry tale of debauchery until now. Although I'll admit that there is a certain pleasure in seeing such a hypocrite exposed, the situation mostly just makes me sad. It is deeply distressing that there are religious leaders such as Mr. Haggard whose zealotry actually springs from self-hatred.

But I felt I had to write about Haggard in response to reports that he would undergo spiritual restoration - a kind of spiritual rehab. The program of restoration that Christian fundamentalists employ in such cases actually shares some similarities with 12-step programs such as Alcoholics Anonymous, a process that I obviously believe in deeply.

As reported on CNN and elsewhere, Haggard's spiritual restoration plan will consist of four basic steps. Somehow, I doubt that I will be on the short list for Haggard's recovery team but here is how I would advise him to undertake the steps suggested by his community.

Submit to the authority of spiritual counselors
Ted, only submit to those who are accepting of all people, regardless of their race, income, gender or sexual preference. In a religious organization that condemns so many, you will find many people like yourself who cannot be honest about who they are. Otherwise, why would they be so judgmental toward others?

Admit your sins
Ted, you need to keep an open mind about what sin really is. You believe homosexuality to be a sin but it is fundamentally who you are. How are you to recover through self-hatred? Living a lie is sinful while accepting yourself is recovery.

Make restitution
Ted, you certainly have harmed your family by living a lie and I know you are eager to make restitution to them. But you have also deeply harmed countless young gay people by telling them that their identity is sinful and, even worse, changeable. You doubtless have tried for years to repress your identity as a gay man and know that it is inherently who you are and who you will always be. You can make restitution by accepting yourself and speaking publicly about how harmful it is to live in the closet.

Be humbled
Well, Ted, you've got this one covered.

But I fear that Ted's spiritual rehabilitation program will not be particularly effective. Apparently Jimmy Swaggert took these same steps after being caught with a prostitute but later "relapsed." Dr. James Kennedy of Coral Ridge Presbyterian Church said recently on CNN that Haggard "...must get back into church simply as a member of the congregation...I would say it's going to be an uphill climb."

I truly don't mean to make light of Mr. Haggard's downfall. It seems likely that, in addition to being a self-hating gay man, he has a substance abuse problem and needs help. It is available to him if he embraces rigorous honesty. I pray that he accepts who he is and learns that it is possible to live a life of integrity as a gay man.

Click image for gallery

Many people take fish oil supplements because they contain omega-3 fatty acids. Fish oil supplements are clearly proven effective in lowering blood triglyceride levels. And some studies have suggested that omega-3s may prevent sudden death from disturbances in heart rhythm, or arrhythmia. But don't run to your nearest health food store or grocery store to purchase fish oil supplements just yet.

As with most dietary supplements, the studies supporting some of the claims for fish oil are inconclusive. A 2002 review of many fish oil studies concluded that these supplements did protect against sudden cardiac deaths and cardiovascular events. But a more recent analysis of 48 trials - comparing 37,000 people who had taken either fish oil supplements or a placebo for six months to several years - casts doubt on those results.

Among the people taking fish oil supplements (some but not all of whom had heart disease or its risk factors), there was no significant reduction in the risk of death or of cardiovascular events like heart attacks or strokes. And even though there was no increase in the risk of cancer among the participants, the authors could not vouch for the safety of taking the supplements, which may be contaminated with mercury.

So we still have no conclusive proof for the protective effects of fish oil supplements against sudden death. Although taking these supplements may be a waste of money for most healthy people without risk factors or evidence of arrhythmia, there is still the chance that fish oil supplements can protect certain individuals, especially people with some heart rhythm abnormalities. However, other studies have shown no benefit from fish oil supplements in people who have an implanted defibrillator because of their risk of sudden cardiac death.

Click image for gallery

You know the cliche: a woman is so uninterested in sex that she makes a shopping list while making love. Jennifer and Laura Berman see such women all the time, and it's frustration--not boredom--that brings them to the Bermans' new clinic at UCLA.
"I was talking to a woman earlier today about her low libido, which was a result of the fact that she can't reach orgasm,"

says psychologist Laura Berman, Ph.D., who with her sister, urologist Jennifer Berman, M.D., is a founder and codirector of the Center for Women's Urology and Sexual Medicine clinic. "Because she can't reach orgasm, sex is frustrating. She feels a hopeless, fatalistic complacency about her sex life. When she's having sex, her partner picks up on that and feels rejected and angry, or notices she's withdrawing. Then intimacy starts to break down. Her partner feels less intimate because there's less sex, and she feels less sexual because there's less intimacy. The whole thing starts to break down."

Acknowledgement of sexual dysfunction in America is booming. But with all the attention on Viagra and prostate problems in men, most people would probably never guess that more women than men suffer from sexual dysfunction. According to an article in the Journal of the American Medical Association, as many as 43 percent of women have some form of difficulty in their sexual function, as opposed to 31 percent of men.

And yet female sexuality has taken a back seat to the penis. Before Viagra, medicine was doing everything from penile injections to wire and balloon implants to raise flagging erections, while female sexual dysfunction was almost exclusively treated as a mental problem. "Women were often told it was all in their head, and they just needed to relax," says Laura.

The Bermans want to change that. They are at the forefront of forging a mind-body perspective of female sexuality. The Bermans want the medical community and the public to recognize that female sexual dysfunction (FSD) is a problem that may have physical as well as emotional components. To spread their message, they have appeared twice on Oprah, have made numerous appearances on Good Morning America and have written a book, For Women Only.

"Female sexual dysfunction is a problem that can affect your sense of well-being," explains Jennifer. "And for years people have been working in a vacuum in the sex and psychotherapy realms and the medical community. Now we are putting it all together."

No single problem makes up female sexual dysfunction. A recent article in the Journal of Urology defined FSD as including such varied troubles as a lack of sexual desire so great that it causes personal distress, an inability of the genitals to become adequately lubricated, difficulty in reaching orgasm even after sufficient stimulation and a persistent genital pain associated with intercourse. "We see women ranging from their early twenties to their mid-seventies with all types of problems," Laura says, "most of which have both medical and emotional bases to them." The physical causes of FSD can range from having too little testosterone or estrogen in the blood to severed nerves as a result of pelvic surgery to taking such medications as antihistamines or serotonin reuptake inhibitors, such as Prozac and Zoloft. The psychological factors, Laura says, can include sexual history issues, relationship problems and depression.

The Bermans codirected the Women's Sexual Health Clinic at Boston University Medical Center for three years before starting the UCLA clinic this year. At present, they can see only eight patients a day, but each one receives a full consultation the first day. Laura gives an extensive evaluation to assess the psychological component of each woman's sexuality.

"Basically, it's a sex history," Laura says. "We talk about the presenting problem, its history, what she's done to address it in her relationship, how she's coped with it, how it has impacted the way she feels about herself. We also address earlier sexual development, unresolved sexual abuse or trauma, values around sexuality, body image, self-stimulation, whether the problem is situational or across the board, whether it's lifelong or acquired." After the evaluation, Laura recommends possible solutions. "There is some psycho-education in there, where I'll work with her around vibrators or videos or things to try, and talk about addressing sex therapy."

Afterward, the patient is given a physiological evaluation. Different probes are used to determine vaginal pH balance, the degree of clitoral and labial sensation and the amount of vaginal elasticity. "Then we give the patient a pair of 3-D goggles with surround sound and a vibrator and ask them to watch an erotic video and stimulate themselves to measure lubrication and pelvic blood flow," Jennifer says.

The identification of FSD has been called everything from the final frontier of the women's movement to an attempt by the patriarchy to shackle women's sexuality. But given the success that drugs such as Viagra have had in reversing male sexual dysfunction, the Bermans found an unexpected amount of criticism from their peers. "The resistance we got from the rest of the medical community early on was surprising to us," Laura says, explaining that the urological field in particular has been dominated by men.

Clearly, the Bermans will need hard data to win over their critics. Their UCLA facility is enabling the Bermans to conduct some of the first systematic psychological and physiological research on the factors that inhibit female sexual function. One of their first studies suggests that the pharmaco-sexual revolution that helped some men overcome their sexual dysfunction may prove less effective for women. Their initial study of the effects of Viagra on women found that Viagra did increase blood flow to genitalia and thereby facilitate sex, but women who took the drug said it provided little in the way of arousal. In short, subjects' bodies might have been ready, but their minds were not.

"Viagra worked half as often in the women with an unresolved sexual abuse history as in those without it," Laura says. "So it's just not going to work alone. Women experience sexuality in a context, and no amount of medication is going to mask psychologically rooted, or emotionally or relationally rooted sexual problems." Laura believes the results of the Viagra study counter those who contend that FSD is simply a tool of pharmaceutical companies to "medicalize" female sexuality.

"I'm less concerned about it, because I'm aware that it won't work," she says. "And in some respects, pharmaceutical companies are closing the divide between the mind and body camps of FSD. Clinical trials of new drugs for FSD are requiring psychologists to screen participants, and that is an acknowledgement that an accurate assessment of a drug's efficacy requires a consideration of the test subjects' feelings about sex. So these physicians who may not be motivated to bring on a sex therapist are now motivated to participate in a clinical trial, and then that model becomes the norm."

Currently, the sisters are working on MRI studies of the brain's response to sexual arousal, the place where mind and body meet. And although there is a lot more research to be done on FSD, identifying it as a problem has already made a significant impact on how women perceive their sexuality. "Women now feel more comfortable going to their doctors, and they're not taking no for an answer, not being told to just go home and have a glass of wine," explains Laura. "They feel more entitled to their sexual function."

READ MORE ABOUT IT: For Women Only: A Revolutionary Guide to Overcoming Sexual Dysfunction and Reclaiming Your Sex Life Jennifer Berman, M.D., and Laura Berman, Ph.D. (Henry Holt & Co., 2001)

HIS & HERS... and how to have them

Hers: a female orgasm can be frustratingly evasive. While about 85 to 90 percent of women are capable of having an orgasm, according to Beverly Whipple, Ph.D., vice president of the World Association for Sexology, only about one-third have had one during intercourse. That said, it's important to remember that orgasm should never be the goal.

"In goal-oriented sexual interactions, each step leads to the top step, or the big "O"--orgasm," says Whipple. "Goal-oriented people who don't reach the top step don't feel very good about the process that has occurred. Whereas for people who are pleasure oriented, any activity can be an end in itself; it doesn't have to lead to something else. Sometimes, we're very satisfied holding hands or cuddling. There would be a lot more pleasure in this world if people would just focus on the process."

Whipple also points out that the psychological ramifications of dissatisfying sexual interactions are not often suffered alone; they can cause distress in both partners. "If one person in a relationship is goal-oriented and the other is pleasure-oriented, and neither is aware of their own orientation, they don't communicate that with their partner," she explains. "A lot of relationship problems can develop. In my workshops with couples, I help them be aware of how they view sexual interactions and then communicate this with their partner."

TYPES OF ORGASM

Clitoral Orgasm

The most common, they result from directly stimulating the clitoris and surrounding tissue. What many people don't realize is that the majority of the clitoris is actually hidden inside the woman's body. Recently, Australian urologist Helen O'Connell, M.M.E.D., studied cadavers and 3-D photography and found that the clitoris is attached to an inner mound of erectile tissue the size of your first thumb joint. That tissue has two legs or crura that extend another 11 centimeters. In addition, two clitoral bulbs--also composed of erectile tissue--run down the area just outside the vagina.

O'Connell's findings, published in the Journal of Urology, show that this erectile tissue, plus the surrounding muscle tissue, all contribute to orgasmic muscle spasms. With so much tissue involved in a clitoral orgasm, it's no wonder they're the easiest to have.

Pelvic Floor or Vaginal Orgasms

These occur through stimulating the G-spot, or putting pressure on the cervix (the opening into the uterus) and/or the anterior vaginal wall. Located halfway between the pubic bone and the cervix, the sensitive G-spot--named after its discoverer, German physician Ernest Grafenberg--is a mass of spongy tissue that swells when stimulated. Because it's difficult to locate, experts have developed a few guiding techniques:

o Lying on her back, the woman tilts her pelvis upward so that her vulva presses flat against her partner's pelvic bone. According to the Bermans, this allows the penis to make contact with the G-spot, simultaneously stimulating the clitoris. Putting pillows beneath her buttocks makes angling her pelvis easier.

o Whipple suggests placing two fingers inside the vagina and moving them in a beckoning motion. The fingertips should stroke the frontal vaginal wall, just where the G-spot is located.

The Blended Orgasm

This can be attained through a combination of the first two.

HER BENEFITS

o Pain relief: Orgasms help alleviate menstrual cramps. In addition, studies have shown that a woman's pain threshold increases substantially during orgasm.

o Enhanced mood: According to University of Virginia researchers, orgasms boost levels of the female sex hormone estrogen, which in turn betters your mood and helps ease premenstrual symptoms. They also release endorphins, the body's natural painkillers and depression fighters.

o Increased intimacy: Oxytocin, a hormone that promotes feelings of intimacy, jumps to five times its normal level during climax.

o Easier rest: Oxytocin also induces drowsiness. For women, sleepiness comes about 20 to 30 minutes after orgasm. Men, on the other hand, usually drift off after only two to five minutes.

o Less stress: Stress in women is highly correlated with arousal difficulties, lack of libido and anorgasmia, the inability to reach orgasm, according to one 1999 study in the Journal of the American Medical Association. Just 20 minutes of intercourse, however, releases the lust-enhancing hormone dopamine, triggering a relaxation response that lasts up to two hours.

His Physiologically speaking, male and female orgasms are surprisingly similar. The related problems men and women experience, however, are distinctly different.

"There are men who can't orgasm, but I think it's less than I percent of men," says Jed Kaminetsky, M.D., a professor of urology at New York University and director of the school's male sexual dysfunction clinic. "That's a much less common problem than premature ejaculation."

A study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association found that premature ejaculation is even more common than erectile dysfunction, especially among younger men. As with most sex-related problems, it affects both partners--some studies suggest that nearly 30 percent of couples report premature ejaculation as the most prevalent sexual problem in their relationship. One major obstacle to treating it is simply defining the problem to begin with.

"It depends on the relationship," Kaminetsky explains. "If a woman takes an hour to orgasm and the man can last 40 minutes, that's premature ejaculation for that couple." At the other extreme, one minute is too short an amount of time for most couples. "Not too many women are going to climax within a minute."

Kaminetsky also sees truth in Whipple's assessment of goal-oriented versus pleasure-oriented interactions. "Men are very goal oriented; they see a task and they want to successfully perform that task," he says. "Often that task is to make their partner have an orgasm. If the woman knows that, she feels like a laboratory animal--it's not a very sexy thing. That's why women fake orgasms, which is a sign of lack of communication in a relationship."

PREMATURE EJACULATION

Rarely a physiological problem, premature ejaculation can result from over-excitement, positioning or rate of intercourse. "The roots of it go back to the way men learn to orgasm, which is typically through masturbation," suggests Kaminetsky. "A lot of young boys masturbate quickly, because they don't want their mom to walk in on them. It becomes a trained behavior." To treat premature ejaculation, experts suggest changing positions, breathing deeply, thinking about something other than sex or simply stopping for a moment. Here, Kaminetsky offers two additional techniques for delaying orgasm:

o Practice this before reaching "ejaculatory inevitability," the point when ejaculation cannot be stopped; most men recognize it as a sensation of deep warmth or pleasure: Squeeze the head of the penis for about four seconds or until the sensation subsides, then resume.

o During intercourse, the man should press his pelvic bone against the woman's and rock rather than thrust his body. "It won't be as stimulating for him so he'll last longer, and it may be more stimulating for the woman."

HIS BENEFITS

o Long life: Men who have two or more orgasms a week tend to live significantly longer than do those who have only one or none, according to research at Cardiff University in Wales.

o Less cancer: Breast cancer is rare in men, but once developed, the mortality rate is high. Fortunately, a study published in the British Journal of Cancer found that men who have more than six orgasms a month are significantly less likely to develop breast cancer than are those who have less frequent sex.

o Healthy hearts: A study of 2,500 men at the University of Bristol and Queens University of Belfast found that men who have at least three or more orgasms a week are 50 percent less likely to die from heart failure or coronary heart disease.

o Good health: Having sex once or twice a week also fights off the flu and other viruses by strengthening the immune system, psychologists at the University of Pennsylvania recently found.

o Youthful looks: A study of 3,500 aging people at the Royal Edinburgh Hospital in Scotland found that those who looked the youngest also had the most vigorous sex life. The effects were even greater if the subjects were emotionally satisfied as well.

READ MORE ABOUT IT: The Good Girl's Guide to Bad Girl Sex Barbara Keesling, Ph.D. (M. Evan and Co., 2001)

Sexual Fitness: 7 Essential Elements of Optimizing Your Sensuality, Satisfaction and Well-Being Hank C.K. Wuh, M.D. (G.P. Putnam's Sons, 2001)

Click image for gallery

Since moving to the East Coast of the U.S., I have been spoiled by my ability to jump on a train or get in the car to enjoy a weekend away in New York City. I have always enjoyed visiting this city full of character, landmarks and some of the best restaurants in America. So over the past week, I read with interest about a new proposal in New York State banning the use of artificial trans fats.

Trans fats are mostly found in oils, margarines, and shortenings like Crisco. Some trans fats also occur naturally in foods like meat and dairy. The New York ban is aimed at the artificial fats only, targeting American favorites like apple pie, French fries, and doughnuts. The ban will force chefs and cooks everywhere to consider each and every ingredient used as they prepare food that New Yorkers and its thousands of visitors seek daily in the city's almost 25,000 eateries.

Many people are outraged by the proposed ban on trans fats. But experts cannot ignore the fact that these artificial trans fatty acids raise the risk of heart disease and are indirectly responsible for thousands of deaths every year. If you personally want to eliminate trans fats from your diet, consider making the following changes:

* Read food labels carefully for sources of trans fats.

* Avoid snack foods and baked goods that are more likely to contain sources of artificial trans fats.

* Snack mostly on fresh fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and low-fat products.

* Look for "trans fat-free" on labels of some margarines, chips, and cookies.

* Avoid fried foods at fast food restaurants and select broiled chicken instead.

For more Samantha photos, visit her site: www.samantha-steele.com
Height: 5'3" - Weight: 117 lbs. - Hair: Blonde - Eyes: Blue

Click image for gallery

Posted by Leonard DeRogatis, Ph.D. In our culture, cultural stereotypes paint men as being ever-ready to perform sexually anytime, anyplace, with anyone. Imagine the confusion and concern many women experience when their red-blooded American man is no longer interested in having sex with them.

Problems with low sexual desire appear to be more common among women than men. But males also experience episodes of low sexual desire that can last from days to months. The reasons for such episodes vary in men, just as they do in women.

Men may lose their desire for sex when they are stressed, depressed, or in conflict (particularly with their partners). Low testosterone levels may also result in significant reductions in desire. Sometimes certain medical conditions, such as high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and diabetes can interfere with sexual desire, which often will not return to normal levels until the primary disorder has been treated.

Many drugs, particularly antidepressants and antipsychotic medications, also interfere with sexual desire. Strong emotions like fear, anxiety, guilt, or anger will frequently blunt a man's sex drive.

Aside from these reasons, a man may simply be disinterested in having sex. This is different from low desire that has a biological cause. Instead, it stems from a lack of motivation or interest in having sex with a specific partner.

Given all of the possible reasons for low sexual desire, how do you know which one is responsible for your male partner's sudden lack of interest in sex? The best way to find out is to ask. Explain to him that sexual intimacy is very important to you.

Ask if there is something you can do or change to help him become more interested. Often, you will be pleasantly surprised. If the reason still eludes you or appears to be more complex, discussing the problem in a non-blaming way can be the first step to getting help.

Click image for gallery

November is Diabetes Awareness month. Over the next four weeks, I'll share with you important information everyone should know about diabetes. I say "everyone" because diabetes, although chronic once it is diagnosed, is an entirely preventable disease. If you don't have diabetes, the knowledge you gain here may inspire you to help a loved one, friend, or co-worker who's at risk of getting it.

Over the years, my clients have been my greatest teachers. With them, I have learned about the seemingly insurmountable challenges as well as the unbelievable successes of living with diabetes. I'll share some of their stories with you during this month, too.

First, let's get a lay of the land. Diabetes is on the rise. When I was in grad school, one of my professors told me not to bother specializing in diabetes because pancreas transplants would soon cure diabetes. Well, she was wrong.

An estimated 7 percent of the total population has diabetes. That may not sound like much to you, but think of it this way: the estimated risk of developing diabetes is one in three for both men and women just 40 years of age! For this group, that's a higher risk higher than the risk of developing breast cancer, and almost as high as for heart disease. In 2005, 1.5 million new cases of diabetes were diagnosed in people over age 20.

But the most alarming estimates of the diabetes risk affect our children: one in three children born in the United States in the year 2000 will develop diabetes. The risk is even higher for Hispanic children: one in two, or 50 percent, of them will develop diabetes.

Some of you, especially if you are young and in relatively good health, may be saying, "So what? what is the big deal with diabetes?" Instead of focusing on the statistics or the lifelong and serious complications of diabetes, let me tell you the story of just one of my clients.

When I first met Mary (not her real name) two years ago, she was in her 50s but looked more like she was in her 60s. An intelligent professional, Mary could no longer practice her profession. She had about every complication of diabetes you could imagine. She was legally blind from diabetic retinopathy.

She was on dialysis three times each week because of her diabetic nephropathy (kidney damage). She had diabetic neuropathy (nerve pain and numbing in her hands and feet), and the many pains in her feet had left her wheelchair bound. Mary was also incontinent from diabetic autonomic neuropathy, which affects involuntary processes like digestion.

Mary spent much of her time in outpatient clinics and every so often had to be admitted to the hospital to deal with one of her many complications. When our team began working with her, our approach was different than it would have been for most other patients with diabetes: we simply wanted to keep her alive. After following her for about a year, Mary's years of smoking caught up with her and she was diagnosed with lung cancer. Mary died shortly after her cancer diagnosis.

So what's the big deal with diabetes? If Mary's story didn't bring home how diabetes can affect a person's quality of life, here's another fact to consider: in 2002, our society was burdened by the $92 billion spent to cover the direct medical costs of diabetes - that's $132 billion when you also include indirect costs such as disability, work loss, and premature death.

Let Mary's story be a call to action for you and your loved ones. What are you going to do to stop the rise in diabetes?